12.16.11...last day...

Today was my last day teaching Power Fitness PDX until February 2012...double knee surgery is on Monday. 3 days until life will be altered on this teeter totter and I will be off balance in every sense of the phrase.

Teaching Power Fitness PDX and owning my own business has given me a sense of focus, discipline, support, enthusiasm, spirit, appreciation of my own community, and appreciation of the strengths I possess and can share with others. While there have been many days this last year that I have woken up in the middle of the night with nerves about Makenzie and her health and future, Emerson's growth and her quality time with us, my marriage and how challenging having a sick child/job loss/relocation/coping with it all is very different and straining and how I just want to be present and LIVE LOUDLY(vibrantly and embracing each bit of fun and joy) and CONFIDENTLY...has to be put aside so I can support the incredible men and women who come to PFPDX.

Training the TEAM has given me a gift of focus and reason to put on my work and motivational hat. To put aside my own concerns while I help them get stronger and reach their goals. I am beyond eternally grateful.  Without realizing it, many of them have given me back the sense of normalcy I had been craving with every ounce of my being after having a hospitalized child post relocating and starting over.

Now that I taught my last class for 6 weeks I have to focus on embarking on another challenge...double knee surgery.  It is more uncertainty, but the definite I know is I look forward to February when I can put my own fears and challenges aside by starting my days  training Power Fitness PDXers.

I look forward to embracing these challenges of not teaching by using my time rehabbing so I can become stronger. To become more knowledgeable and a greater pillar of coaching to help them surpass all their goals.  The TEAM helped me so very much this year...and honestly I made it to this point more focused than ever before. I can only hope to continue and help them to this same level too...

Porta Potty Pacific Grove

My number 824 - 9.10.11

The Olympic Distance  Triathlon at Pacific Grove on Saturday, September 10th, was my first Olympic Distance Triathlon since I was 23.  Yep, 12 years from the last time I did the distance of 1.5 K( .93 mile) swim, 40K (24.8 mile) bike and 10K (6.2 mile) run. To say I was nervous the week before was an understatement.  I always get butterflies before racing, but I had full blown nerves for the week leading to the race.  My bike decided to have issues 10 days before and the back tire fell off.  My wetsuit is sleeveless and a bit dated. What to do!?  ACCEPT- that's what! Accept what happens "happens" and have fun is all I could think.

The arch to the swim

I feel grateful as I "did" and got my equipment together the week before. I had the bike from Gene at Alameda Bicycles, borrowed a long sleeve new wetsuit from Meredith (my dear friend and training partner), and got some new, wider lens goggles at Sport's Basement on... Thursday! I got one swim in them to at least figure out if they worked well with my face and phew, they did.  The girls were set to hang with my parents before Jack got back from work so I could drive to Pacific Grove on Friday, and they were joining on Saturday to cheer me on.  I think the drive down by myself was one of the best things...I got to think. Or maybe it wasn't a good thing...ha ha I tease.  Truly though, I was thinking while driving about; transitions, the swim AKA The Kelp Crawl, biking on a new bike, and how the laps work with the run.  Visualization is key, especially if you are me. I need to visualize to focus and feel I can take on any event.  And the word that continued to pop through it accept.   

Accept the race for what it is. Have fun with the race. 

Accept that I can't control conditions, accept that a good attitude gets me(you) through anything. 

Accept that the training is done and what will be will be.  

Accept there will be someone faster and be someone slower, but push your limits ...and have fun.  

All the words I say to my kids are what I continued to repeat to myself, like any parent.  How often do you do that...repeat to yourself what you would easily say to your loved ones, but have to repeat it to yourself 3x as many to have the words "stick". I know I am not the only one, and yes being Type A does affect in wanting to do everything well, but I also feel it gives me a focus and discipline too. 

I got to Pacific Grove and checked in to the race. I forgot how gorgeous Pacific Grove is and how chilly it can be! The fog was starting to roll in, and the water looked very cold. But it also looked manageable for an open water swim. Oh yeah, I didn't mention I have never raced in an Olympic Distance ocean swim before. Nope, never, but I LOVE swimming and grew up a mermaid.  Even being a mermaid shifts when a is mermaid in cold, wave filled water, swimming with hundreds of others in the same direction, like salmon swimming upstream.  "Accept, Erin, Accept".  I LOVE swimming, especially in warm ocean water like Kauai, and will LOVE doing the swim in a wetsuit.  If you repeat it enough you do believe it, right? 

Thank you Alameda Bicycles!

After checking in, I got to visit with my Uncle Kevin and his girlfriend, Jeannie. They are both wonderful and incredible cyclists. I did the Death Ride with Kevin when I was 22 and have always loved talking races with him.  Jeannie is actually a retired Ironman Triathlete and quite the accomplished Tri-gal pre knee surgery.  We enjoyed dinner and got to talk the nerves out. Kevin and Jeannie shared the course logistics and also the "shark logistics". My darn Uncle decided to tease me about the sharks the night before a race...following up with "Don't worry, you're small meat for them anyway so you're not a good meal". Lovely visuals as I thought of myself looking like a seal in a wetsuit, swimming with a pack of triathletes, and a shark looking at me than turning away since I am not big enough. Once a fun uncle, always a fun uncle.  I slept on their couch and get this...it was some of the best sleep I have had in the past 7 years!  The past 9 months since we've been back from the hospital I have been up with kids a lot through the night and on Friday night, I got to say good night to them over the phone and konk out fast.  But wait, wake up was at 5:45 am.  Not to bad for this early riser, and I had already been up visualizing how I would race when the alarm went off. 

Incredible Uncle Kevin chillin' at 7 am

Kevin brought me down to the start, I racked my bike and got situated. Upon getting settled and body marked, I found out my wave didn't start until 9:15 am, so I had 3 hours until my race start.  Looking around at all the fancy bikes and equipment I repeated Meredith's comment in my head:
"Gear is only 10% of the triathlete. Physical condition and mental state is the other."  
Good and bad with all the bonus time- go figure- but 9:15 was my start time and I had to run with it.  The water looked cold, the fog was over the bay, and the nerves and excitement were flowing amongst everyone.  I got body marked, had to age up  (dude I am 35 not 36 yet!), jogged along the beach path, and chilled.  We sang the National Anthem, paid respect to 9.11.01, bang went the gun and I got to see the men start! After the men was the wave of veteran athletes who always humble me. I am blown away by their determination and focus.  After the 2nd wave, there was another wave every 15 minutes. While watching the men in the water, you can see the kelp looking to break up.  A channel between the kelp looked to form, or did it? I would soon find out. 

First wave started! 7:30am 9.10.11

I Body Glided and wetsuited up at 8:45 am, looked around for Jack and the girls but couldn't find them. I heard my uncle and Jeannie yelling my nickname,"Burfel".  Knowing they were there, even at the age of 35, was a reassurance that it was all good. I lined up right under the arch at 9:12 am, ready for my take off. 13 years ago I would have held back a bit, but not now. I feel more confident being up in front and taking on my space...but it wasn't quite my space. The kelp hit us quick, as did the 57 degree water.  Kick Kick, knee, fist, punch, slap, pull all popped through  my mind as the sounds of the swim.  I felt good but got a few gulps of salt water, ugh. I kicked harder to get some space and turning around the 1st buoy I got some. Then a gal about one foot taller than me started swimming alongside me to where she seemed to be fighting me for water space...in the ocean! Continued on, buoy two approached fast and swimming back to the beach there was a kelp channel. I developed a pattern of pulling the kelp behind me with each stroke. I tried to use the kelp as if I was pulling myself up a wall, or slithering for up down relays in the boot camp drills I teach.  Fellow 35-39 swimmers started to thin out, people were tiring a bit, but I kept going. My arms weren't tired yet and I felt good. Boom, at the beach, popped out to run around the marker for lap 2...at the same time of the next wave of swimmers! Dang, another big group to swim with but in Lap 2 I knew what to expect kelp wise and stayed to the left of the group.  I pulled forward and got to the first buoy.  I looked to my left to the girl kicking water in my face and gained speed on her.  We were side by side and I noticed she was in the same wave as me. I peaked out of the water and saw just a handful of light blue caps, my wave's caps. Yeah, it meant I was in the front of the pack and this girl knew it too. She decided to swim tight on my left, literally face to face each breath as we pulled forward through the kelp.  To say it was "fun" is not how I would describe that portion of the swim. There was my inner athlete who decided to kick hard to get out of the water before her... so I did. I blasted my legs, got to the sand and ran out...or attempted to. My toes were frozen! 

Running up the ramp was a rush. Kevin and Jeannie were in the front, cheered and snapped a photo as I was pulling at my wetsuit. Mental mantra, "Fast transitions Erin, fast transitions".  Slipped down my wetsuit, slapped on my shoes over incredibly numb toes and ran to the start of the bike. Whew, one leg down and two more to go. I was feeling good, invigorated, and like ME again! The rush was there! 

Pass, pass, pass on the bike. I started to fly by people.  The natural coach, trainer and cheerleader in me couldn't help but support everyone when passing to encourage them.  Tight turns on Lap 1, but 1 lap was done.  Onto Lap 2, already playing "cat & mouse" with a few cyclists, looking at their calves the entire time for their age.  Saw a few more in my age group the second lap and had my eye on a few in front.  Hmmm....I think I could be in a good spot but didn't know since the bike portion was 4 laps.  Lap 2, eeek, I felt my bladder and that I had to go pee.  I really had to go pee and kept peddling fast. I met a woman and rode with her for a bit named Joanne. We laughed about having to go pee and our kids that changed our bladders...in college I would pop the seal and keep going but I couldn't do it as easily now.  I tried but my mind was worried about the person behind me and feeling I'd have to offer him/her some disinfectant towels.  Triathletes do it all the time, I used to, but I couldn't really let go and "go".  Yes, triathletes pee on their bikes when riding.  If they are in it to win it, you gotta pee while on the bike or in the water.  Lap 3, still flying, feeling good, but gotta PEE! Break the seal a bit, can't do it, keep peddling.  Lap 4 slam through it with legs feeling strong and blast to transition. Put on my running shoes, waist belt and hat admiring the porta potties. The green oasis of comfort...but gotta run. I head out to start my run to Jack running along side me. Smiling from ear to ear seeing him and the girls, hearing them cheering I yell to Jack " Having so much fun but I gotta go pee!!!".  The runner in front of me started laughing out loud.  I think I can run through it, I am an athlete, I have raced the majority of my life now, but I also had 2 beautiful babies who shifted some things. I do try to defy the odds but some things Mother Nature decides. 

Jack caught me starting my run leg...

3 laps to run.  3 looooong laps if I don't stop at a porta potty. Yes there were the tri-monkey's on my legs, yes my glutes were tight, yes my toes were still frozen from the swim, but I couldn't feel any of that since I was focusing on finding a porta potty. I start passing people and a beacon of green is in front of me, I check it- locked! Seriously, who is playing a joke on me.  I continue running, passing some people who were most likely on their 2nd or 3rd laps.  I decided I had to stop at the next Porta Potty and just pee fast. It would only be a few seconds, I can go fast and then I would be able to run faster  Yeah, I found it at the turn around and 24 seconds later was back on the run but this time feeling much lighter. I can't tell you how great I felt now, I took everything in.  The sun was shining, the Pacific ocean looked incredible, the energy powerful and I felt strong. I finished lap 1, saw the girls, Jack, Kevin and Jeannie to all of them cheering. Heart was happy and filled, Jack gave me the solid "Erin, you got this", and I could feel my athlete self pulling through. My time looked like my last PR could be broken. "OK Erin", I think, 's "try to pull 7:10's and you can average out the first two slow porta potty miles."  Lap 3 came, I picked it up, knew what to expect and kept passing people. It felt good, I felt good, the race felt good.  The last two corners were in sight and my legs started getting my last bit of energy surging through them.  

I kicked it up, what I have been known for, am still smiling ear to ear and push it.  The shute is in front of me and I ran through it looking at my watch with big eyes. The announcer says my name as I crossed the finish line and I was full of excitement! My family rushed up and the hugs were incredible. Emerson was screaming "Mommy you did it. You won!" not knowing that I didn't win the entire race, but knowing I won to her was great fun.  I haven't felt this good about an athletic event for a while, even at See Jane Run when placing 1st or 2nd in the 5k the past two years or doing the 2 sprint triathlons. I was "back".  My Erin, Tri-Girl, self was back in action. I beat my PR from age 23, when I was a National Qualifier, by 8.5 minutes!! My time by the clock was 2:43:55.

Incredible Jack- best better half!

We chilled out and the girls were beyond cute. Makenzie said she wants to do a triathlon with me, Emerson said she wants to run fast, and Jack said he was so proud.  It felt sureal since Jack never knew me when I raced at Cal Poly and he got to see a different side again of me with racing Olympic Distances. Jeannie and Kevin were beyond great and excited to be there. To have that moment of finishing feeling so good was something I want to hold onto. I never felt I could have pushed faster, I just wished I didn't have to go pee but accepted that my body was my body.  A body I have trained hard through teaching a lot over Summer and has the ability to push faster now than when I was in college.  My racing was more efficient and not only that, the entire race was so much fun and enjoyable! 

Future Triathletes & the best cheerleaders

As we were about to pick everything up from my station, we checked results.  I placed 3rd in my age group!  It didn't have my splits but I placed third and the awards were at 3 pm. Rock on- my mantra is "If I don't place I didn't race", but I was nervous about that phrase this race. I was worried that maybe being on a new bike, using the unknown wetsuit, having had August be a decent training month but one full of travel and great food and wine, could have shifted my racing.  Makenzie was beyond excited too, telling the women next to her "My Mom just came in 3rd at 35!". I felt lucky and so proud. 

Back at Kevin's everyone was sharing how great the race was, the girls all excited to race in their futures.  Jeannie, Kevin and Jack said they want to do a relay team next year and race against me time vs. time. The time with Kevin and Jeannie was special too, rarely do I get time just with my uncle or solely my family with my uncle. Often we are all in big gatherings of our big family and this was memorable time together.  

Emerson excited with my 2nd place finish

The four of us Shireys' headed back to the awards at Lover's Point. Girls and I played in the sand and then all of us glued to the awards.  The elite athletes fab to watch! Future Olympians in front of us. Aged 22-39. These athletes inspire me living a great tri-life and having fun.  A few of the women are in their late 30's and have little ones.  To say I was inspired is an understatement...the same as my girls.  Then it came to the age group awards. Makenzie couldn't wait, she wanted to walk up with me. I wish I had her come, but had never done a podium award for a tri in a bigger tri before. Small tri's sure, but not a Tri California event, and didn't know if it was appropriate. 3rd place name said, not me. Hmmm, I thought. Maybe there was a mix up and I didn't place...and it was I placed 2nd place in my age group and was the 12th female overall in the whole Triathlon.  Then the 1st place winner was announced... with a time just 15 seconds faster than mine.  Darn porta potty, but so worth those 15 seconds! I was waiting for the other women to join the podium, but I was the only one there. I was standing by myself on the block for the 35-39 awards and looked at my kids and Jack.  The real athletes who inspired me to do longer tri's again are Makenzie and Emerson...at that moment I fully wished I had them come up with me. Smiled for the photographer, teased by the announcer and pro-triathlete Julie Moss that I was so clean with fancy hair (Normally ponytail clad me laughed since Jeannie told me to blowdry it post shower since I was still so cold still from the darn ocean), and ran back to my family.  Makenzie asked for the award and I put it around her neck...I think she was as excited as I was.

Future Triathletes- Incredible Daughters-Loves of my life

After the awards we celebrated. We had a great time and I accepted that with any race what will be will be.  I look forward to the next race with more time on what will be my "bike" and having more sleep the weeks before. I am ready to train even harder and get back on a Tri-Team again.  Training has to be respected, but also respecting your body and where it is in life is powerful. Believing in yourself and what you can do physically is beyond powerful.  Carry that power with you for everything you do.  Look at what your body is capable of, challenge it, and believe in it.  Back to the word accept. Accept that anything is possible when you put yourself out there to believe....

** Link to finish on youtube