Cycling On By- 7.26.11

It is true, we look back at certain times of our lives with memories of fondness, joy, compassion, laughter, and pure delight.  I feel grateful I can look back at many times like that, especially the time when I owned/taught Baby Boot Camp in Portland. I LOVED teaching classes, felt invigorated by influencing my own child with health and fitness while helping women take care of their bodies. Baby Boot Camp was my third child, so to speak.  My business wasn't just that, and it never was meant to be, which is how it became very successful. It was a way of life; those involved incorporated the ideals of the Portland classes and dynamic into their daily lives.

2007- Teaching Plank with Makenzie

That may sound odd to think about right now, but it was a huge part of our lives in part because of the girls. I started Baby Boot Camp just before Makenzie's first birthday.  I vividly remember my first class with Makenzie bouncing along in Washington Park, singing and playing, and the excitement the Moms and their families felt after.  Jack said to me, "Erin, you found your nitch.  This is incredible and so perfect for you".  It was the first of it's kind in the Pacific Northwest and the Moms took to it; classes grew fast. Jack was right. Baby Boot Camp was my nitch...it helped me learn Portland and our family get immersed in many aspects of the the city and community. 

The classes were a blast and Makenzie, and later Emerson, knew nothing but fitness as a way of life. They knew of Moms (and Dads) being healthy with their kids. They knew that playing games can be fun in working out; sprinting when pushing a stroller is what all Moms and Dads should do.  They thought having friends play tag  in the park after class was a great way to spend a Saturday morning, or going to the Zoo to see animals while in a jogger with Mom teaching is tons of fun. I loved seeing the kids mimic their Moms by doing lunges and the bonding with my own daughters doing push ups with them.

Riding Home with Barbie riding with us

On Monday, Makenzie and I were going through photos.  She asked me if I missed teaching Baby Boot Camp, and I said I really did. I missed many things about it, and owning that business.  I missed the community, and how it was what we did as a family on weekends.  The routine of teaching with Jack on Saturday mornings, followed by Barnes & Noble story time was so sweet to start the weekend right.  The little toes kicking in front of the jogger, combined with the girls laughing with their little friends as we taught class makes me smile still.  Starting the mornings with boot campers who became some of my best friends, exercising together, was incredible.  But knowing that what I was doing as my profession, truly helped inspire the Baby Boot Campers to live healthier and more active lives, made the work hours beyond worth it.  While I was reminiscing on the aspects of Baby Boot Camp I loved, I said to Makenzie, "While I miss that part of that chapter in my life, I cherish it and love the chapter we are in now too.  Each part of our lives have their own stories and we are in a new one now that we are writing to be great!".

After talking about those special times, Makenzie asked if she could ride her bike with me to the Club. I was going to do a swim workout and run there to get more miles in, but she wanted to ride along side and read while I swam. A first for her, but why not. While I was excited, honestly I also was thinking I hope I can get a solid mile swim in since this is my training window.  I know it may sound selfish, but I had visions of a great ride there, with me being stopped each lap for a typical kiddo"Are you done yet?" question.  Yes, I did feel bad with these thoughts too because my normal Mom guilt of always wanting to be easy with my kids.

Post swim ride/run home!  New chapter...

It was after dinner, and with just the two of us it felt like we were in a new, more big kid, world. Makenzie on her two wheeler and me running alongside carrying the backpack with our swim gear.  She was steady on her bike and shared stories the entire ride, sounding so much older than I wanted to realize. We got to the pool and true to her word, Makenzie pulled a chair up at the end of my lane and started reading her book.  She knew the time on the clock to check for when it was time to pop in and swim with me. Makenzie patiently read and then hopped in and we swam, played and laughed for another 45 minutes.  We did underwater tea parties, bobbed, and relished just being mermaids together.  We watched the sunset while swimming and Makenzie said to me, "Mom, this marks a new chapter for us. Now you can train with me and I can train with you! Just us- our special time together".  Heart  = melted.

We got dressed, riding/running home in the dark.  I didn't want the night to end for the incredible conversations and time we were sharing, just us, but was excited about this marking a new tradition we will do together.  Soon she'll be comfortable to swim laps beside me too, but I don't want to rush anything as each moment of our lives marks something new. For me, to have her mature, patient and eager to "train with me" gave me another sense that our chapter before helped shape who she is now.  Seeing me always determined to be strong and active, leading my clients along the way, gave her a strength and confidence she carries with her.  I look forward to the next memories to be created during our training sessions.  Again, my little workout partner is leading my way, writing her own story with fine detail.  

Sweet Nora- July 2011

*** Fun addition- Anne, the first instructor I hired for Baby Boot Camp, who became a dear friend didn't have kids for her first few years of teaching. She now has two gorgeous daughters.  Her youngest, Nora, is a baby and when we got home from our bike ride, I opened my email to find a picture of Nora in a Ride Alameda Tricycle onesie we sent her.  The active Mama book continuing being written...

Lemonade

Friday afternoon was blissful. It could have gone horribly wrong, but it didn't, and I can't help but think it was in part because of the girls knowing you have to make lemonade out of lemons!

Friday was Makenzie's last day of Hidden Cove Summer Camp for the week. By Fridays all of us are a bit tired, ready to play but also ready to chill in the same.  Emerson and I rode the bike trailer to the beach to pick up Makenzie and had a planned beach-playdate with her dear friend, C, and her wonderful Mom, J.  Makenzie and C changed into their swimsuits, grabbed the buckets and ran right into the water.  E was sleeping in the trailer, which was perfect and necessary since she needed her naps by Friday.  J and I actually had some time to talk and debrief over life's events.  We watched the girls play in the sand, dive in the Bay, chase each other and honestly just have fun being kids.  It was easy and perfect.  E woke up a bit groggy and gradually made her way to the sand.  She jumped right in too, excitedly wearing her new turquoise 2-piece and shaked her boomer all the way to the sand.

While my toes were nestling in the sand, the sunshine warming my chest and conversation flowing between J and I, my thoughts were of "this is a perfect Friday afternoon in Summer!".  After 90 minutes it was time to pack up and ride home.  I wanted enough time to get ready for that night, as part of my Happiness Project is to spend more time with my own girl friends and I had a playdate at Rock Wall's Champagne tasting I didn't want to miss.  All were buckled, ready to ride home and feeling the Friday fatigue of a good week. The girls and I were singing loudly and then I heard a "bang-bang-bang".  I continued on, but the sound did too. I stopped, checked the trailer and the tires.  TWO flat tires. Oh man, we were only at the Windsurf Shack which means another 3 miles until our house.  My initial thoughts were this can be fine, and let's hope E and M don't have meltdowns.

While checking both tires looking for any objects in them, a nice man who was running, stopped too. He kindly went over the tires sharing he was sorry he didn't have a spare with him.  So nice- he was running and worried he didn't have a bike trailer spare wheel!  We said good bye and I said to the girls, "Guess what- we get to walk home now! Yeah for a beautiful sunshine day!".  3 miles, this could be tricky...

Or the opposite!  Makenzie looked at me, looked at Emerson and said "Hey guys, let's race!". She started running and Emerson followed. Before I knew it we were at Grand Ave.- half mile done! We continued on with Emerson in the bike trailer and Makenzie pushing the back. No complaints- we played Eye Spy, 20 questions, sang songs, and contemplated where we should have our next adventure.  Makenzie was asking questions about different times when I was growing up with my brother and sister while E was playing with her baby, Rachel.  I told the girls to get to the South Shore stop sign and we could get ice cream. There would be only 1.3 miles to walk after.  Wahoo- almost there. My Mom ears were so proud- they were truly making lemons to lemonade without any tears.

At Lords Ice Cream the girls got to pick what ice cream they wanted with M&M toppings.  The ice cream melted everywhere and the three of us laughed. Makenzie observed that the runner who helped us said maybe Pagano's may have bike tires and we could go there after the ice cream. I didn't even register that piece of information, and confirmed we were ok to keep walking. After we finished the melting messes, the girls took turns with "riding" my bike and me helping them balance.  We ran into a few people and had a few friend's honk their horns and wave.  The girls excitedly waved back, and then asked how much further.  With only half mile left, we realized we'd make it for me to get a shower and get to the Champagne tasting. Emerson said while sitting in the bike trailer, "It's good Mom, we'll be there!  Let's go faster!!!!". Makenzie did just that while she pushed the back of the trailer and I balanced the bike.

Phew, once we made it home the girls went into song and dance.  They made it home without any whining, crying, or complaining!  They worked as a TEAM, having played all afternoon, but pushed themselves knowing I had a little event planned to make it to.  Makenzie and Emerson didn't wince and Makenzie was so proud of the fact she walked 3 miles after a full day of playing at camp and swimming.  This coming from my 7 year old daughter who I had to re-teach how to walk in October, had surgeries in November and December, and only started PE again in April 2011!

Yet I hear from some clients and those who want to lose weight give me excuses all the time such as; "There is no time to exercise". "Push ups are to hard so I don't want to do them". "I can't do this because it hurts and I am tired". "My kids made me gain wait and I have no energy to work harder anymore". "Please don't push me, I had a rough day".  We all have rough days, moments, weeks, years. It is how we DEAL with them that counts.   It is how we make a situation into an adventure and allow our body to cope with the adventure.  It is how we take what could be a tricky time and turn it into a sporty event with positive memories.

After we made it home, I took a 10 minute shower-change-wrap up, got the girls changed and everyone in the car.  While I digested the afternoon, I was overcome with a sense of complete pride for who my daughters are.  I am always proud of them; love Makenzie and Emerson more than the world and will jump as high as they ask me to any day.  But this instance, I felt so very proud and toasted them with my glass of bubbly as I shared the afternoon's story with my friends.  Cheers to many more Lemonade days!

Pretty Cool....

Last week I found out I was voted  2011 Most Motivational Personal Trainer by Alameda Magazine.  It may seem small on some accounts in a city of about 80,000, but it has made me proud and blissed in so many ways.  Take a read at the "Thank You" I wrote to the Power Fitness PDX peeps.  It really does mean a lot, and thank you for the love.  I know this blog is about embracing my life's challenges, and starting over, having a hospitalized child, and re-building my life in the Bay Area have been some of them...tiny little events that have evolved and made me stronger.  With love-Erin 

Thank you Thank you Thank you!  

You voted, the city voted and guess what....I was just named the  

2011 Most Motivational Personal Trainer by Alameda Magazine!   

To say it is an honor is an understatement.  To say that it had me smiling and filled with pride, joy and gratefulness is an understatement as well.  Many reasons but a significantly huge one is I should award all of YOU Most Motivational Clients/Friends/Business Owners/Family.  I am motivated by YOU every day to not only try hard to do the best with my fitness business and as a Personal Trainer, but to challenge my own self to go beyond my comfort zone and live the best life possible.  YOU motivate me to be as healthy, active, educated, joyful, present and live in the moment daily.  Thank you so very much for being the stars of motivation in many aspects that shape me to do what I do.   

The reasons I feel so appreciative for this honor and recognition are:

1. We moved back to Alameda, the city I was born and raised in, New Years 2010.  It was a big move that was fast and during a zany time of year, the holidays.  After having lived and loved Portland, Oregon, for 6 years, after the economy shifted and a big job layoff, we realized it was time for our family to be back by family and lifelong friends.  We were nervous and sad about leaving Portland, our girls only "known" home.  But we felt the New Year was a great time to start a new adventure and to go for it.  One of the reasons I was nervous stemmed from owning my own, relationship based business.  Starting over meant starting with all new clients, laying out my credibility, creating a new environment and building a new network as a business owner in a city that knew me as kid on my bicycle. Fresh start = Fresh NEW adventure and challenges. 

CHEERS TO YOU MOTIVATING EVERYONE TO JUMP FOR JOY

 2. YOU, without realizing it, helped me be my child's BEST advocate when she was in the hospital September-December 2010.  I fell to my knees daily when Makenzie  couldn't see and made a point to get up and be strong for her without question.  When I was able to teach Power Fitness PDX in the mornings, I would, and returned to the hospital regenerated and inspired to keep putting one foot in front of the other on her endless and exhausting marathon of a race back to health.  YOU supported my family with love, kindness, meals, day-to-day support, and words that meant more to us than we can ever share with you.  When I wasn't able to support you 110% like I strive to, YOU shared with me to use that energy for Makenzie and Emerson. To support her without question and YOU would train and workout together the days I couldn't come to teach. The days turned to weeks and yet YOU continued on.  That motivation you had to train as a TEAM supporting each other as YOU supported my family will forever be a gift.  Together. Empower.Achieve.Motivate. Thank YOU.  

3. I have the gift of seeing you in action, working hard, in the mornings and afternoons daily. I get to laugh with you when training to lose the chicken legs in your front yard, while saying "Good Morning" to each passing neighbor. Or training in class at Power Fitness PDX with goals ranging from learning to not just wear workout pants because of the elastic waist effect, to doing a proper push up and increase speed and intensity with running. And I get to watch you leave your desk for an hour at work to challenge yourselves to get strong and lean doing burpees and caterpillars in the Alameda Business Park courtyard... while losing the Lucy 10.  I am the lucky one who witnesses the sweat induced hard work...but all of your friends and family are paying attention!  You are motivating THEM to be healthier, more active, try new sports, enjoy a PFPDX date night boot camp, put on their running shoes to race, do push ups during TV commercials, go for an evening bike ride as a family, walk the stairs instead of ride the elevator, and grow a vegetable garden together instead of growing bigger bellies together! YOU motivate all around you by living, eating, sleeping and LIVING the day to day lifestyle of being ACTIVE and HEALTHY!!!  Congrats to YOU!    

Cheers to an award that means the world.  And Cheers to YOU for making me  more inspired, motivated, determined and energized to live up to the title and continue to be the Most Motivational Personal Trainer of 2011!  

  

Remember to always .... Challenge the POWER of YOU! 

  

----Erin Kreitz Shirey

Owner & Lead Trainer of

Power Fitness PDX LLC 

Voted Alameda Magazine  

2011 Most Motivational Personal Trainer 

 

Happiness

This past week, my Mom, Jack and dear friend, Pilar, all asked me if I was truly happy.  I had talked about moving to new places, shared nerves about the girls and Makenzie's medical conditions, stress about time management, and didn't feel like "me".  Normally, I am a positive optimist by nature. I see the glass half full, feel invigorated by laughter and twinkling eyes, have no shame in dancing like a fool and enjoy time doing a bazillion things and nothing at all. But, I really wasn't feeling like me.

A big part... my left ankle has been injured. While I know I have to get knee surgery in the late Fall, after racing the See Jane Run 5K, I was set to come in first and got a cramp at mile 1.7 and overcompensated with my left calf.  I pushed to come in 2nd, but later in the day felt a bit of pain.  First it was shin splints, then it shifted to severe pain shooting up and down my leg.  I am not one to stop and hold back, especially when my job is to inspire and motivate my clients to keep moving daily.  It is not in my nature to step back, and I've had to.  I took one week off. Then I ran 7 miles in Carmel on my brother's wedding day, and it got worse.  So I took another two weeks off.  While spinning and swimming rock, they don't replace the runner's high  for me.  They don't give me the depleted feeling that I have at the end of an intense run...and I crave that feeling at least a few times each week to thrive! So without running, holding back with teaching by not doing as many plyometrics, and attempting to keep my Erin Spirit up, I guess it had dwindled more than I realized.

And yesterday, I had an epiphany as I was writing.  While therapeutic and scary I realized a few things:

Love how this captures all of us thinking "Oh E, you are our Ramona!"

1. I have been beyond scared that something will happen to Makenzie and/or Emerson again, but want to keep Bug and Monkey feeling as normal as possible. I don't want Makenzie to feel she can't do things, but am beyond scared that if she does something and gets hurt again, we are in severe trouble that I can't control.

2. With the determination to keep life fun for my girls, I have put my own personal needs off. I haven't spent time with my friends because the only time away from my girls I spend training/teaching PFPDX or training myself.  I am scared that if I go away something can happen to Makenzie.  The first time I went away without my kids for myself to play, to Portland for 2 days, Makenzie got horribly sick and I rushed her to Children's Hospital upon getting home. She didn't recognize me resulting from the severe dehydration and multi organ failure, and I am fearful something could happen if I were to go away again.

3. I need to focus on my own Triathlon racing again, which is what makes me feel like me ME and haven't been able to because of injury.  That is tough for me mentally because I am feeling an age thing coming on. As if I don't do some things in the next few years I will lose my "younger window".  I need to focus on myself and what makes me happy, realizing that age is just a number.

4. I have a feeling of missing my own independence.  With moving back to the Bay Area, I realized I think of it as a feeling of failure that we didn't make it away on our own. It is not true- we didn't live in the Bay Area for about 7 years.  But with moving back I miss the sense of independence of living on our own, and having our own city to identify with.  I miss my core group of friends who I saw every day and talked on the phone with all the time.  I miss having "my" people to go running with all the time; having them close by to go to Kennedy School with. I miss the bonds my children had with kids they knew since they could first remember.  Here my closest lifelong friends are 30-45 minutes away and I don't see them how I want to regularly. I have lovely friends in Alameda, but it will take time to nurture and grow those friendships. I am determined to do so beyond measure.

5. I thrive on owning my own business and helping other women(and their daughters) with their self esteem through athletics.  I love presenting at workshops, doing the tv fitness segments, writing fitness articles, and being involved on all aspects of media in fitness.  The nerves from realizations 1 & 2 have held me back a bit on moving and progressing forward again with pursuing media-fitness pieces again.  

So NOW- I am making changes. I am finding new goals, have outreached to some of my newer girlfriends, and will set some dates to see my lifelong friends in the next weeks.  While being a naturally social person, I don't socialize as much as people think I do.  I am running around with the kids all the time and tend to forget to pay attention to me. I worry if I don't focus just on them, if I lose them, I won't remember everything.  That is what scares me so much.  I can't just take off and leave them with sitters to see friends because I get scared.  I was gone, and never am, when Makenzie got sick and she didn't recognize me when I saw her.  That has stayed with me on deep levels which I hadn't realized until recently.  I worry if anything happens again it will always be with me, but after identifying these feelings maybe I can work on it more.  I even feel guilty at nighttime, when I am tired of whining and washing dishes to "escape for a few minutes", and Jack is reading stories to them. I feel I should be right there cuddling before bed.  I feel that having almost lost them both I need to cherish each moment we have together on another level. Which I do, but I want to embrace and cherish the moments more deeply.

This is where it gets interesting.  I know life is not easy for everyone. I know we have it easier than most. We have a roof over our heads, have loving family and friends, have our bodies and have been given the gift of seconds chances.  I would love to feel in my innermost core more peaceful all the time; that is what I am striving for. It's why I take longer to go to and from places; riding my bike to pick up Emerson, stopping at places along the way home, unexpected trips to random parks or to the beach to play in the sand and read books. It is how come I try to add extra time to doing errands so the girls can explore and I can take time to answer the endless question of "why".  I truly want that peaceful and content feeling to be with me daily, and for my kids to embrace and feel those elements of peacefulness too. I want to feel content and good about me, my family and my life I am living.  Often I do. BUT, often I also feel I should be doing more than I am and be appreciating on a deeper level all that life has allowed me to experience.  Have you ever experienced that too?  


I began a Happy List Sunday morning when running.   I am adding to it daily, and making sure to embrace all the happies I see.  I will add to the happies on this blog, and encourage you to create your own happy list. Even doing it makes you smile and feel a bit happier. 

As I was finishing up my Happy List I decided to pop into Books Inc. and meander around. Guess what I found....a book called The Happiness Project.  No joke- I was holding some fun beach reads, looked down and my jaw dropped.  I couldn't believe my eyes and called Jack right away to share the "sign" of what I would be doing next.  Supportive and incredible as he is, Jack said to get the book and tell him all about it.  I am only on page 25, but have already enjoyed the notion of focusing on different elements each month.  Similar to how I do an annual Fitness Challenge from February-May for my clients- to help them focus on their health, fitness, and wellness. This will be a year of focusing on different elements of making those aspects of my life happier, embracing each moment to "be" in the moment, and enjoying everyone around me for their various strengths, personalities, quirks and love that I cherish.

My own Happiness Project will highlight each month with a new goal.  And to start- July is Foundations.  I am going to truly start my own year's project in August, and July will outline how I can embrace the foundations for my own unique happiest state. Do you want to join me?  How are you truly Happy each day?  Are you relishing each moment to it's fullest potential, or do you feel it's to much to contemplate? Just curious.  


One of my own happies is swimming with my girls, so I will hop off and do just that.  What I gratefully enjoy, and keep doing that again and again...

Happiness list -  June 26- 2011
Loving and feeling proud of myself- stems to feeling good about all else
holding hands with Jack when walking down the street
Emerson laughter
Makenzie's eye twinkle and nose freckles
Being free to just play with the girls
Swimming in the pool and underwater tea parties
Eating outside
Riding with girls singing on their bikes
The beach and sand in toes
Achieving an athletic goal
Feeling organized
Makenzie reading to Emerson
Jack playing soccer
Watching Jack and E play soccer
Bare feet
Sunshine filled day and run
Hearing my best friend's voices on the phone
Sweat inducing depleting workout
Sunflowers
No clutter
Feeling on top of finances

Robbie remembering to say "secret code" and both of us laughing
Writing cards and actually getting them in the mail
Cuddling with the girls
Lean abs
Wearing sundresses

being lame doing the running man and how people respond with laughter
Writing inspiring articles
Helping women feel confident
Cousins
No drinking in the week= better morning workouts and teaching
Read books every day
Clean house
Running trails
Running with jack
Racing well and confidently

Tyler being smart assy and "on" and making me laugh so I fall over
Laughing so my body aches
Making my meals
Farmers market and eating strawberries while wandering through
Being updated

My old bike ride date nights with Grandma Betty hearing stories
Traveling
Overnight adventures
Hiking
Wine tasting with friends
Hawaii
Kissing for hours
Dare nights with good conversations
watching dad and mom with the girls
Working out with Tyler
talking to Grammer

Receiving cards in the mail

Painting for hours in sunshine

Reading a book in a hammock

Hearing client success stories

Helping Clients "break through" their challenges and go farther than they thought

Seeing Makenzie ride her bike on two wheels for the first time

Seeing Emerson sing and dance all the time- just in her own world

Bo's smart ass comments

Watching my girls with my best friends kids adoring each other

Huevos Rancheros

Fresh cut flowers

Manicured nails lasting more than one day

National Running Day!

Run run run run!!!  It is a great day, National Running Day, did you get your miles in?  I love that a day is dedicated to encourage everyone to lace up and run.  Even if you never have run down your block, go for it today!  It is your day to move and have fun doing so.  Learn that your body is made to be active, not sitting at a desk.
Have fun and count how many runners you see today.  Emerson and I did just that and counted 15 runners.  We had a great 5.5 mile run and literally within 5 minutes of putting away the jogger, it started to pour rain like Noah needed water for his Arc!  Have fun, get your miles in, and remember, you don't melt in the rain when you run! 

Cheers and Happy Running!!!

A run that was SO RIGHT and went SO WRONG

Jack got home from my brother's bachelor party in New Orleans very late on Sunday night.  As we were talking back and forth during his travels back home, I told him I was ready to RUN HARD on Monday and couldn't wait to pound the pavement. He understood as every runner does- 3 days without an intense run leaves a parent ready to pound it out. Mind you I had a blast with pur girls while Jack was gone, and we played tons on the rainy days inside, but my body was ready to push it.

Monday morning came, the four of us walked to the park together and then I took off for my run. My goal was to do 6 miles with a comfortable pace the first 2, push it the second 2 miles, and then blast it the last two miles.  I had my iPhone Pandora station set to Katy Perry, favorite running capris and tank comfortably rockin', and was rolling along the beach path before I knew it.  I ran upon a familiar gait and came upon Annie C. from Power Fitness PDX.  We chatted a few steps and I rocked on.  My pace was comfortable, about 7:20/25.  I noticed so many people on the beach path and thought about how great Alameda is to raise kids; how fun it is to ride bicycles to the beach and even if overcast bring buckets and shovels to play in the sand.  When I got to the Windsurf Shack my eyes continued to look towards the sky and the tons of kite surfers - kites dancing their way above our heads.  I spotted an Irish kite made of shamrocks and smiled, knowing it was a sign I would make my kite surfing dream happen.

Coming up on mile 3-4 I decided to pick it up a notch.  Smiling at every runner, giving the runner wave and nod, my body moved forward into racing mode.  I was on the latter part of the See Jane Run course that I'm racing this upcoming Sunday, June 5th, and my body naturally started to kick into higher gear.  Checked my watch-whew miles 3 was faster averaging 6:40/45 pace! My smile was growing and I was feeling good.  But that soon changed.

At the turn around and I began running back towards home, my body was in a good place.  I felt in tune with each step, my mind wasn't stressing on much, and then....I saw 4 police cars and two firetrucks ahead of me at Willow. My initial thought was Heaven forbid, a child was hit, but I continued my pace and ran closer. I was ready to close my eyes, fearing the heartache of identifying to closely with an injured child's parents', but was surprised to see fire fighters and police officers holding binoculars looking towards the water. Phew, I thought, a fun bit of sea life came towards the shore and they were probably called upon to assist with a rescue. The joys of living on an  island ... I thought.

Once I passed Willow St. and all the cops, I pushed it faster determined to see what my body could do.  Continuing down the nature path, running through Makenzie's school and towards home, my pace pushed 6:15/6:20 the last 2.5 miles!  The sweat across my brow and down my back was intense, while my runner's high was strong.  You know the feeling...one of sweat induced pride from a great run.  I opened the front door excited to share the good run with Jack and the girls, in addition to sharing there was some fun action at the beach that may be some fun animal life. Heck, it happened in the '80's with Humphry the Humpback Whale in the Bay, so there must have been some fun excitement in the Bay again!

After talking and showering, we got distracted and decided to do some errands instead of rush back to the beach.  Thank goodness we changed plans ...Today I brought up in Power Fitness PDX that there was something great at the beach yesterday.  Not having any inkling of what a boot camper was about to share, my heart sunk when hearing what the real "something" was at the beach.  A man walked into the water attempting to commit suicide and the Police and Fire Departments didn't have the water jurisdiction to rescue him. The many people at the beach didn't act act on the Good Samaritan law since they thought the Fire and Police had it under control.  A 20 year old gal finally went out to help rescue the 53 year old man, but it was to late. 

Hearing this has infuriated me.  Being a lifeguard and swim instructor for years, I would have run into the water and waded to get the man to the shore.  When running by the scene, everyone seemed non-chalant as if it wasn't an emergency but a safe rescue situation.  Having experienced a dear friend's suicide just last August, it is a horrible experience and you feel helpless in not being able to help the one you loved. You feel helpless not being able to save any life- knowing the person or not.  The government officials had the people at the beach, those running by and those who lived in all the apartments on Shoreline, with a false sense of security that they had the situation under control.  Typing this has my blood boiling.

How is it, on an island, there is no jurisdiction to rescue people in the water?  How is it possible that a man can commit suicide in the middle of the day, with so many watching feeling the situation was under control?  How can there not be funds to pay for water rescue training of all officials, but there is money to pay for nice pensions and comfortable salaries??

Needless to say, the run will forever be remembered.  One that is so sweet in speed, but bitter in experience.  A run that made me think about why we are living in California, a state I love so much, but am so disappointed in with the government and where spending limits it's officials.  So I write in hopes others are outraged too. I write in sharing my sadness that a life was lost while others looked on thinking he was ok, and in hoping it is a situation that will never be repeated for the rest of my daughters' lifetime. Once an island girl, always an island girl. But this was one day I wish I grew up on a different island....



** To read the story about the drowning, please read here & here

Bikini

Summer is almost here and with that highlights body image issues for every female.  Why do we worry about our bodies so much- how they look, jiggle, move, jump, plump, flop or lift?  When eating healthy diets and exercising daily, why do we stress if our bodies can't fight gravity the way we want them to?  Where do these insecurities come from, and how can we help our daughters avoid them?

When we lived in LA, we had a blast but knew that it wasn't where we wanted to raise our daughter.  When Makenzie was born, we picked 5 cities to move to by the time she was to be 5 years old. We beat that timing and moved to Portland, a city of incredible body acceptance, when Makenzie was shy of 4 months old.  The move was significant in Makenzie's first years of life, and my months being postnatal and getting stronger again.  In LA when pregnant, I felt ginormous. I was in the fitness industry, and while active I can vividly remember some gentleman with beer bellies at the club I worked at, asking if I was having twins.  Exactly what a 5'1" 28 year old wants to hear, especially when she is surrounded by tall soap stars and "stars in their own mind" LA peeps every day.  Even being active, we knew it wasn't the healthiest place for us to raise a daughter.  And having had an eating disorder in Junior High and High School, if we could prevent any external pressures on body image for our kid, I was determined we would.

Thus Portland- it was great! While a female can never escape the media, in Portland so many women are encouraged and accepted for being rockstar athletes.  The confidence in who you are and how you hold yourself flourishes when amongst women who are just happy to BE themselves. Mind you, when in Portland, we were constantly surrounded by other men and women who lived healthy lifestyles since many of our friends were clients and trainers from my fitness businesses. They drank the same "health and fitness" juice that we did; living the life of athletes with kids.

2010 Summer -Lake Tahoe- Swimsuit pride!

When in Portland, I actually became more confident in my own body.  I don't know if it was the ability to feel solid and strong after 2 c-sections, if it was being inspired by the consistent runners I saw every morning in Forest Park or climbing Mt. Tabor stairs with an Ergo and my babies on my back.  We all moved because it felt "good to do", and for me I wanted to identify with my athlete self in addition to my Mom self.  With that comfort in my own skin, I gained even more confidence in my own training and teaching abilities.  It led to not just knowing I was an athlete, but feeling my body could push itself harder than I thought possible.  I knew it would hurt, but so many others were training too and to train among some of the best in the world made me push harder. My times got faster which led to me getting more and more inspired.  I LOVED, and still do, knowing that Makenzie (and later Emerson) would only know their Mom as someone who ran, rode, swam and trained all the time.  They don't know anything but being a female means being strong and embracing your solid legs, smaller chest, and strong back.  They know it means you exercise when you first wake up to kick off your day and your metabolism; that you use your body for your vehicle by riding or running to do errands and visit friends.

Every Summer, we made our daily run or ride to the swimming pool. When the girls had lessons I would swim laps,  always peaking over in between strokes.  I loved watching them jump comfortably in their swimsuits, bum cheeks popping out in their suit bottoms and not caring at all.  I relished seeing them joyful as they were moving all over the swimming pool. We swam for hours and would play in the adjacent Grant Park until the sun went down.  Continuously it was my goal to tell them how strong their bodies were, how incredible their bodies were for doing big jumps and swimming with big rainbow arms.  I was focused, and will forever be, in making sure they know their body is a gift and to embrace all it has to offer.

pool joy

It is hard as a Mom to do that at times, since everyone has days where they don't feel "right" in their own skin. Guys want to be a bit stronger with bigger shoulders while ladies are eager for a flat stomach and bums you could bounce quarters off of.   As a Mom, it evolves to the midsection.  As much core work as you do, you will forever have an altered core from growing beautiful little beings in you.  Even for those who train for hours, your body does change and it is part of nature.  It shouldn't be fought but embraced.

A few years back when teaching Baby Boot Camp, some of the boot campers were complaining about their cores and not being what they were pre-pregnancy.  I will never forget stopping them mid-run with a serious teaching voice and explaining how as a female one of the biggest jobs nobody tells you about is retraining your body how to work post childbirth.  But as you retrain, you will most likely be stronger than you were before kids and will be able to physically handle more than pre-children. A few of the ladies continued verbalizing their frustrations and said we, the instructors, didn't know what it was like since we were in shape.  At that, 2 other instructors and myself lifted our workout tanks and showed the gals our stomachs.  While all were strong and toned, we also had a bit of skin shift at the belly button or lower abdomen from c-sections.  Even with strong solid stomachs, we all did have children and embraced our bodies for doing so.  We also tried to not focus on it, but focus on how many push ups we could do, how fast we could run, how high we could jump, or how our weeks' were better for exercising together.

Last week we were getting ready to swim and Makenzie made a comment about being fat in a swimsuit. My jaw dropped to the ground and immediately we discussed how beautiful her strong body was. She said it not with worry, but in a matter of fact manner.  Emerson was standing beside me and said loudly, "Makenzie you are not fat! You are strong and can swim like a mermaid". Proud Mama moment to hear Emerson talk, but mixed moment to hear Makenzie's words.  I asked where the comment came from and she said that at school some of the girls were talking about their bodies and since they said they felt fat, she did too.  So there we were, my two beautiful girls and myself in our bikinis, having a body image talk.  I told Makenzie that girls hear things about their bodies and shouldn't worry about it, but be so happy for strong bodies that can work incredibly!  Her body has gone through more than many do in a lifetime and is so stellar in all it has done and will continue to do.  We talked about all the dynamic things our bodies can do and how it doesn't matter how we look, but how we feel and to always be active and have fun with what bodies we were given.  I poked fun at myself for being short, but able to walk under tree branches without ducking. We pointed out our freckles, different eye colors and cool scars.  Then we walked to the pool standing tall and cannon balled into the water holding hands.

proud to be STRONG

I know I can't protect my daughters from external images and what the media presents regarding women and their bodies. But I can try my hardest, as can you, to encourage self acceptance and pride in the great bodies they(and all others) have been given.  There are not enough minutes in the day to spend worrying about not fitting into a specific model standard. Instead use what would be worry minutes to be physical and get the endorphin rush.  It is much more rewarding than 30 minutes spent contemplating one's boob or booty size.

Grab your bikini, your smile and head to the pool proudly.  You have an incredible body and now is your time to make it shine!!!!