So far, I have been doing good! It is interesting because when running on Friday I was a bit anxious, but also not letting the stress truly bother me like I have in similar situations months before. I was training earlier on my road bike in a great zone and pace... and my back tire fell off. Grrr...I checked the chain rings, the gears and the bike trailer attachment. Then a nice guy, John, rode up on his electric bike. He looked straight out of Portlandia- boombox attached to his bike playing some Grateful Dead, long gray beard, and uber chill voice. He got down to help me, was generously kind and as I rode off with a working bike again he yelled, "Keep the biking real Erin!". We bonded and I wouldn't have met him if my bike didn't breakdown. I rode my bike to Lucy where I teach a 12:15 boot camp, switched training gears and got a 5 mile run in before I taught class. As I attempted to push my legs I couldn't. "Come on now Erin, you can go faster" I repeated to myself. A bit of anxiousness started a bit wanting to make sure I got a quality run in. Then I decided to just roll with where my body wants to be right now. And I did and gradually loosened up to push it on my returning 2 miles.
While I was running thought, "What do I do?! I have Pacific Grove Tri on September 10th and need a working bike". Hmmm.....joys of wonderful Alameda Businesses I called Gene of Alameda Bicycles when I got back. Played phone tag and he ended up leaving a message that I could rent his wife's bike for a few weeks and could pick it up over the weekend! Sweet- this can work out and I can still race! On Sunday I picked up the bike, it fits great and is a smooth ride....no stress, nice components and I am ready to push it on the bike. Plus I get to see what I really want to get on my new bike that I am ordering next month by riding vs. just looking through in the catalog. So cool!
Anxiousness and being able to step back and just "breath" is part of my Challenge. I realized that a reason for this is my own focus on taking advantage of every minute of time. We lost a lot of "time" last Fall with Makenzie and Emerson. Time for them to feel "normal" (whatever that is!), time together as a family, time for me as a business person and athlete, and time to just be stress free. While I know we can never make up that time, some days I feel if I haven't gotten 1:1 quality time with my daughters and Jack, all of my to-do's done and tackled all my goals, I haven't used my time well. Is that right to feel that pressure- nope! Is that fair- not really to myself. But when I realized the significance it made sense. Being aware of when time flies and things don't get done, it doesn't mean the time is wasted and that's ok. If it is a task that can be done tomorrow, the day isn't ruined or a bust. Be realistic with goals and checking things off.
When doing this Challenge, it is for me to make me feel good about how I use my own time, not as if I am lacking focus. Does that make sense? I feel like I am pretty good about using time and aware of living in the moment yet I also have high expectations for myself. I am sure you have felt that at times too, and maybe it's more relevant to us since we've experienced moments when time has stood still and you are scared for it to move forward. Who knows! But I know that the Aloha feeling, the feeling of chillaxin' like the Grateful Dead when my bike broke down, combined with the feeling of physically pushing my athletic limits is what makes me feel good.
|Bike that made me smile...San Francisco is "under" the shifter ;)|