Dynamic Emerson, my little bundle of energy and independence started Preschool on January 4th! It was huge, and a needed growth change for her. She was nervous and wanted to be as princess like as possible wearing her favorite green dress, tights and party shoes, and a grown up barrette in her hair. She packed her Dora backpack, making sure to include coloring books and a camera. Cuddling Baby Sita as tight as possible all morning, Emerson saw the other kids didn't have their dolls with them and asked me to put Baby Sita in her backpack so she was close enough to touch, but away so she can be like the other "big" kids. From the beginning, Emerson has always had a sparkle and that sparkle of delight was in her eyes. She became a preschooler while I became a Mom with both of my kidlets in "school".
I can't believe she is almost 3, but then again, I lost 3.5 months from "being" with my youngest daughter all the time. Emerson is my buddy, and I have prided myself and trying to strike a work-balance to remember every ounce of who she is. She has many nicknames, all that suit her perfectly. Ramona, Miss Magoo, E and Monkey. They all describe how silly, spirited, loving, curious and adventurous she is. She is also a BIG miracle, like her big sister, and actually paved the way for Makenzie to know what being in a hospital is like. From the day we left the hospital the final time with Emerson, I vowed to work at changing my teaching schedule, business and life and "be fully present" with Emerson at all times. Of course that is a lot to ask of any person, let alone business owning parent, but after almost losing Emerson when an infant and losing 3. 5 months with her, there is no time to pass by without embracing it. And I have, and it is hard at times, but so delicious in the same. Changing my own schedule for teaching and training clients allows me more time with Emerson in the mornings. I now teach and train all clients between 4 am-8 am which allows more time in the day. When she is not in school we are taking each morning as it comes, and the days she is in school we have more time to dawdle as we walk or run home. This past Tuesday she asked if I could bring her Barbie scooter when picking her up, which I did, and she lasted 15 minutes trying to scoot independently before she hopped in the jogging stroller. I was trying to capture each image of Emerson scooting along in her fancy twirly skirt, purple helmet, pink Vans and a smile as big as her face. If only our lives had a permanent video playing above us to take these images in.
Emerson turns 3 on Tuesday... 3 Years old!! Her little birthday celebration is tomorrow and I am excited for it to be ALL about Emerson for the day. She has talked about wanting a Zoo Birthday party, what cupcakes to make, and what dress she want to wear. On Friday we went to Target to pick out goodie bag swag, Dora gear and pink everything. To have this basic time with E doesn't replace the months lost to juggling taking care of Bug, but they are times we are both craving right now. Just craving the feeling of being around each other to hear each others voices or hold each others hands walking down the street. Like any kid, Emerson needs her Mom as much as her Mom needs and craves her. So I take this time, even when they are trying and her independent firecracker self shines through, because I can't get any of our lost time back.
Cherish, is what I am doing, cherishing Miss E as she turns the magical 3 and wants to play with Me!
Emerson, was born just a little over a year before Oscar. With the wierdness of pregnancy and everything else, it always seemed to me that she was so much older. But they enjoyed playing together over Xmas eve. And oddly, I didn't realize that perhaps it was because they weren't so far apart. And now it drives your own experiences with Bug and E in ICU even closer to me, in a way that makes me uncomfortable, and more in awe of your experiences, and grateful for what I have. I hope I never have to go through what you have experienced, but if I do, I pray I can show similar grace.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the kind words G! I appreciate them and it was awesome to see Oscar and E playing so much. You would do what you have to for your kids, and I bet your incredible strength would shine through! Oscar is lucky to have you for his Mom.
ReplyDeleteJust in from a gorgeous morning run and thinking how E is supposed to have a sunshine day for her birthday celebration. She is bright and dynamic and a big pop of warmth!